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/r/DeadBedrooms - There's only one Love Language, those other four things are *Like* Languages

76,407 subscribers a community for 6 years, 6 months

last post today [+]

A support group for Redditors who are coping with a relationship that is seriously lacking in sexual intimacy. Advice is always appreciated, just don't be surprised if we've heard it all.

Important links for those in a deadbedroom:

Information about sexual issues that might be complicating your situation:

DeadBedrooms suggested reading:

-Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex--and How to Get It


  • LL: Lower Libido
  • HL: Higher Libido
  • DB: Dead Bedroom
  • SO: Significant Other
  • PIV: Penis in Vagina
  • LTR: Long Term Relationship
  • LDR: Long Distance Relationship
  • DH: Dear Husband

The rules here are few and far between, but we try to enforce the rules we do have fairly rigorously. We are all part of the moderation team - please report comments that break the community rules!!! The mods try to be omniscient, but we spend a lot of time playing Free Cell and truffle hunting - during those times reporting comments is a community service.

  1. No direct insults ("You're an idiot!"). Be civil, and try to maintain an even tone. We're all human beings on the other side of the screen. We can call this the 'simple human decency' rule.

  2. Don't respond to someone opening up about having a DB with the assumption that they 'deserve' their deadbedroom ("Your husband won't fuck you cuz you're ugly, right?" "Your wife doesn't want you because you aren't any good in bed!"). Comments should be supportive and constructive.

  3. Sexist, racist, just generally offensive, etc. generalizations aren't cool either. ("All women are manipulative bitches!" "All men care about is sex!")

  4. Joking or not, asking for pictures, hitting on people, soliciting for sexual interactions/communications, etc, are not welcome here.

  5. Advocating rape is not okay. It is against the rules, and likely to result in a no-warning ban.

  6. Grinding an axe on religion, politics, culture, media or any other ideological baloney is off topic here and may result in banning and the stink eye.


As a result of long and extensive debates on the topic, and hard-won experience of the moderation team, The Red Pill and its sub-brands are NOT allowed here. This includes posting links to /r/theredpill, /r/marriedredpill, /r/asktrp, /r/incels, etc. AND making reference to redpill-specific strategy/theory (plates, AWALT, dread game, etc.)

This is for three reasons. First, red pill immediately implicates Rule 3 and Rule 6. Second, anything unique to redpill is almost certainly misogynist and unscientific, and anything useful in red pill (improve yourself, set reasonable boundaries, leave a relationship that isn't satisfying you, what people want and what they say they want aren't necessarily the same) is not unique to red pill. Finally, if you want to talk red pill... they've got literally dozens of subs, go there if you want it.

If you have an issue with a poster or comment that you think is borderline against the rules or violating the spirit of the community, then please PM the mods explaining your issue. We will respond to you and we can have a conversation about that.

If your post isn't showing, please message the moderators and we'll see if it is caught in the spam filter.

We're still a small subreddit, so feel free to cross-post your submissions to any of the larger related subreddits:

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