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A support group for Redditors who are coping with a relationship that is seriously lacking in sexual intimacy. Advice is always appreciated, just don't be surprised if we've heard it all.
Important links for those in a deadbedroom:
- Low Sexual Desire
- Communication About Sex, note the link on communicating your kinks - a LL partner may feel that wanting frequent sex is kinky.
Information about sexual issues that might be complicating your situation:
- Body or Penis Insecurity
- Early ejaculation or erection issues
- Difficulty Orgasming
- Female Sexual Pain
- Discussion on Sexual Shame
- SEX POSITIVE therapists
- The World Association of Sex Coaches
DeadBedrooms suggested reading:
The Sex Starved Marriage is a book that has been helpful for communicating about sex for members of our community. (Link is to video discussing the book.)
/r/deadbedrooms... Often a LL partner spending some time reading in our community has made a big difference. Maybe it will make a difference for your partner.
- LL: Lower Libido
- HL: Higher Libido
- DB: Dead Bedroom
- SO: Significant Other
- PIV: Penis in Vagina
- LTR: Long Term Relationship
- LDR: Long Distance Relationship
The rules here are few and far between, but we try to enforce the rules we do have fairly rigorously. We are all part of the moderation team - please report comments that break the community rules!!! The mods try to be omniscient, but we spend a lot of time playing Free Cell and truffle hunting - during those times reporting comments is a community service.
No direct insults ("You're an idiot!"). Be civil, and try to maintain an even tone. We're all human beings on the other side of the screen. We can call this the 'simple human decency' rule.
Don't respond to someone opening up about having a DB with the assumption that they 'deserve' their deadbedroom ("Your husband won't fuck you cuz you're ugly, right?" "Your wife doesn't want you because you aren't any good in bed!"). Comments should be supportive and constructive.
Sexist, racist, just generally offensive, etc. generalizations aren't cool either. ("All women are manipulative bitches!" "All men care about is sex!")
Joking or not, asking for pictures, hitting on people, soliciting for sexual interactions/communications, etc, are not welcome here.
Advocating rape is not okay. It is against the rules, and likely to result in a no-warning ban.
Grinding an axe on religion, politics, culture, media or any other ideological baloney is off topic here and may result in banning and the stink eye.
If you have an issue with a poster or comment that you think is borderline against the rules or violating the spirit of the community, then please PM the mods explaining your issue. We will respond to you and we can have a conversation about that.
If your post isn't showing, please message the moderators and we'll see if it is caught in the spam filter.
We're still a small subreddit, so feel free to cross-post your submissions to any of the larger related subreddits: