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Surviving Infidelity

27,431 subscribers a community for 5 years, 4 months

last post today [+]

Welcome to the club that no one should ever have to join.

If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. This is a safe place to give support and guidance to each other.

Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences you will ever have to survive. Regardless of your decision to stay or to go, you will have to overcome a tremendous amount of pain and emotional scarring.

You can do it. And we're here to help.

Read the Surviving Infidelity Wiki before posting!

Please include one of the tags for link flairs in brackets...ex. [advice] Please help.... at the beginning or end of the title when submitting new posts. Please see the section for link flair tags in the sidebar or [wiki] ( for more help.

If you are a cheater looking for advice, please read this section of the wiki first.

Check out our list of common abbreviations and terms here.


For a more detailed explanation of our sub rules and guidelines, please see this section of our wiki before posting.

Long term relationships

This is a support sub for people in long term relationships or life partnerships, normally over one year.


Be respectful of each other and keep your comments supportive. Avoid rude, unkind and unhelpful comments.


Personal attacks, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, racism and encouraging violence are not tolerated in this sub. This includes on the sub and through private message.

Dismissive/Unhelpful Advice

Avoid comments that just tell a poster to leave their partner without any deeper advice.


Unsolicited advertising and spam will be removed. Recruiting or pushing agendas for other reddit subs is not acceptable here.

Victim Blaming Any post that promotes victim blaming will be removed. This sub does not subscribe to the philosophy that infidelity is the fault of the Betrayed Spouse (B.S.) as it is a debilitating choice made by the Wayward Spouse (W.S.) from among more appropriate, moral choices.


Posts poking fun at, insulting, or belittling users who have been cheated on are not acceptable here. Off topic posts may be removed. Posts stirring up drama will be removed.


People who have cheated on their partners are welcome here if they genuinely want to ask for advice and support on rebuilding their relationships.

This isn't an appropriate sub to talk about the difficulties of being a cheater, to post about infidelity experiences or complain about consequences of cheating.

If your post creates a lot of conflict it may be removed in order to keep the sub on topic and supportive.

Targeted/Gendered slurs

It's not acceptable to target people of any specific gender, race, sexual preference, etc.

Discriminatory and sexist slurs will be removed, users who continually target others in their comments/posts will be banned.

Personal information

Posting of personal information, identifying photos, or any kind of doxxing will result in an immediate ban.

Encouraging abuse/hate/violence/revenge

Encouraging this kind of behaviour and sentiment is not acceptable in this sub. Encouraging others to commit violence or illegal acts in revenge will result in an immediate ban. Posts about revenge are not suitable for this sub and will be removed.


See our wiki for information on user flair and post flair.

Please include one of the following tags at the beginning or end of the title EXACTLY as seen below, in square brackets, ex. [NeedSupport], when posting to the sub. These are the link flair tag choices for post submission:

  • Rant for when you need to vent.
  • Advice for advice and help from others.
  • NeedSupport for supportive responses only.
  • Wayward is for people who have cheated and want advice on how to genuinely make amends or to help their betrayed partner. Please avoid these threads if you find it difficult to talk with cheaters or if you cannot add anything constructive or helpful.
  • Reconciliation for any B.S. that are currently undertaking the arduous task of reconciliation.
  • BuildTrust for any post that is looking for direction on how to build trust back into their relationship after infidelity has occurred.
  • PostSeparation for when infidelity has occurred, the B.S. and W.S. have split, whether temporary or leading to divorce.
  • Therapy for questions, comments regarding finding a therapist, therapy for the B.S. or W.S., and general questions on things that have worked for others.
  • Update for general updates on progress during your trials, tribulations, and success stories during recovery from infidelity.


Related subreddits:

  • /r/AsOneAfterInfidelity - for people working on reconciliation
  • /r/survivingmyinfidelity - for people who have cheated
  • /r/relationships
  • /r/relationship_advice
  • /r/infidelity
  • /r/marriedsex
  • /r/marriage
  • /r/divorce
  • /r/ExNoContact
  • /r/breakups

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